


The Boy With a Thorn In His Side

by i_amthecosmos, magdalyna



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Blowjobs, Enemies to Lovers, Insecure Liam, M/M, The X Factor Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-22
Updated: 2016-06-22
Packaged: 2018-07-16 14:18:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7271671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_amthecosmos/pseuds/i_amthecosmos, https://archiveofourown.org/users/magdalyna/pseuds/magdalyna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes a fight is the best way to break the ice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Boy With a Thorn In His Side

**Author's Note:**

> Me and magdalyna have thousands and thousands of different rp's about how Lilo get together while on X Factor. This is one of them. Thanks, pumpkin. 
> 
> And yeah, I defaulted to another Smiths/Morrissey title.

Louis wasn’t even thinking of Liam, not really, even though they were talking.They were walking down the stairs backstage, nobody else around, and Louis was talking, mile a minute. He was barely paying attention to what he was saying, but one of his sarcastic asides must have hit a nerve, because before he knew it he was up against the wall, with one of Liam’s strong arms on his neck.

“I’m done, Tomlinson,” Liam says, and Louis observed that Liam has gone entirely cold, his eyes blank. His arm against Louis’ throat was unmoving, and he didn’t really resemble the nervous, unsure Liam he usually knew. This one was a shark.

Louis tested Liam’s grip and no way, he couldn’t budge an inch. He looked up at Liam’s frozen face and said “If you’re going to kill me, go ahead and stop trying to scare me.” There, now Louis could die knowing he had some really cool famous last words.

“I’m not going to kill you,” Liam said, and his face stayed stone. If Liam cared about looking badass, he would have sneered or laughed. He did neither, and that made Louis feel even more dread. “If I wanted to do that, I would have snapped your neck already, even before you hit the wall.” Louis didn’t feel better as Liam’s Reservoir Dogs act proved him right. “You’re going to stop messing with me, find another target, no, don’t find someone else because then I will kill you. Stop bullying people when we’re in this, stop bullying me. That’s all I want.” Louis would have asked him if he’d been practicing that speech at night in his bunk, but his neck was still being held down by Liam’s arm. 

When Liam stopped talking, Louis eventually realized he’s waiting for him to say something. Louis tried to clear his throat, which was hard to do, so Liam eased up a bit on his neck, just pulling back enough that he could breathe properly. He looked straight into Liam’s eyes, which were still blank.

“I didn’t mean to bully you Payno,” Louis started with, which got him a slight shake of the head, and Liam’s arm moving back strong against his neck. “I’m not saying I didn’t do it,” he said quickly. “I only mean it wasn’t my intention. I don’t think you’ll believe me, when I say my intentions weren’t bad, but there you are. I don’t think we got off on the right foot. And I’m sorry.” An apology might keep Liam from stabbing him in his sleep tonight.

Liam snorted then. “Understatement. And you have a funny way of not meaning to, but I suppose that’s the Tommo way.” Those dark soulless eyes looked deep into his, and then Liam let the arm drop. “I accept your apology.” 

Louis moved slowly away from the wall, and rubbed his head. “You got me good,” he said, voice a bit admiring. “My head hurts, but it’s all right. If you’d shoved me with any more force I’d have a concussion.” He’d had them before, from skating accidents and falling from high-ish places, and they weren’t fun. He looked over at Liam, still stiff and stone-faced, but seeming a bit more relaxed in the shoulders. “I don’t suppose that I could get you to understand that me trying to get a rise out of you didn’t mean I meant you any harm?”

He could see Liam working out the tension in his body after he said that, moving his jaw from side to side, unclenching his fists. Louis tried to stay out of swinging distance. After a long minute, Liam simply said “No. I don’t have a good history with that. Now that you’re explaining it, I can step outside myself and see your side. But no, I don’t react that well to it.”

“Understatement.” Liam looked surprised, and raised an eyebrow at the joke, but he didn’t try to crush Louis for it, so he kept going. “I think we need to have a real talk soon, but not right now. You’re still angry, and my head hurts enough.”

“Are _you_ angry?” Liam said, and Louis shook his head. “Okay. Give me a few days, maybe a week. I need time to calm down.” Louis thought that was a long cool-down time, but it wasn’t unusual, he figured, in people who let their anger build the way Liam must have. “I’ll find you, after supper maybe, at the house. Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you, I’m not…rash? Is that a word?” Louis nodded, glad for the information. Knowing that Liam wasn’t going to kill him in his sleep was nice. “And I should give you time to ice that.” He nodded at Louis, and Louis figured he met his head. The rest of him would like a hot bath.

“Yeah,” Louis said, nodding, which made his headache worse. “And ow. I’m going to find some of Niall’s Paracetamol, and have a lie-down if I can. All right, see you at rehearsal.” He thought about playfully touching or shoving Liam, but he would take it badly. So instead he waved and Liam nodded as he left. Thank God, that was terrifying. 

Louis wound up stealing a few headache tablets from someone’s bag, and then he got some ice for his head and spent some time on his bed. After a while, a show manager came in to see him and asked if he was feeling alright. “Better now thanks, I tried to clear the stairs, wound up hitting me head, I’ll be okay.” The show manager looked disgusted at him, but Louis wasn’t going to rat out Liam. If they found out what he did, he might get kicked off the show.

Later that night, he told Harry about it, Predictably Harry took his side, and was about to set off to find Liam and throw ice on him in his sleep or something, but Louis shook his head. “No, it’s all right. It was my fault, because I knew he didn’t react to me playing the same way you or Zayn do. I have to give him some time and then let him come to me. Nothing else is going to work. So don’t give him any trouble, okay?” 

“’Course not Lou,” Harry said, and he snuggled into Louis’ space before kissing his hair and going up to his bunk. Louis turned over on his side, sleeping so the sore spot wasn’t on the pillow. After a while, he drifted off. 

…

Louis had to wait five days.

He had trouble accepting it because he hated waiting. It’s was his least favorite thing (besides biological fathers who only want to have a reunion for the papers). But there wasn’t a great deal he could do about it. Instead he played around with the other three boys, but kept a nice respectful distance from Liam. He hoped that Liam knew that was what it was, respectful. Now that he wasn’t making jokes at Liam’s expense every five seconds, he could tell how quiet it was. He supposed Liam had a right to be angry. 

On day five, he saw Liam fixing two cups of tea, and he sidled over there, watching him. Liam got the cups and a small plate of biscuits that Louis liked, Liam must have noticed that. Liam motioned with his head for Louis to follow him, so Louis took his teacup and followed him to a nice secluded spot under the stairs. Louis sipped some of his tea (no sugar, Liam _had_ been paying attention), and nibbled at a biscuit. “So,” he said, looking over at Liam. “Where to start?”

Liam answered, in a small, nervous voice. “Well, sorry for attacking you first of all. Physical measures should be my last resort.” Liam stared into his tea cup and Louis nodded. 

“I don’t really think you need to apologize for that, myself. That might have been the only thing that would’ve worked. I have a terrible habit of missing the subtle clues.” Louis picked up a biscuit -a rather brilliant shortbread-and gave one to Liam. He’d been far too nice about letting Louis have his pick. Liam took it carefully, and Louis took another sip. “See, basically when I want to make friends with someone I just annoy them until they play with me. But, and don’t take this as me saying this is your fault, you don’t play.”

“Not true,” Liam said, looking over at Louis. “I play with the other lads, a bit. I didn’t really see what you were doing as…playful.” Louis nodded. “To me it was threatening, I was picked on horribly as a child, when I wasn’t in hospital because of my kidney. I really didn’t know how to make friends. “ Liam nibbled on the biscuit. “Then I took up boxing, and people didn’t do much after that, but they could still say things.” Liam stumbled to the end of the sentence, and looked down.

“Well, picking on people is how I make friends with them. I still have a tiny scar where Stan put his fork into my hand when I kept squirting ketchup in his hair. After we got through that, we were best friends.” Louis looked off in the distance. “And okay, I was jealous of you, I admit that up front, but you wouldn’t pay attention to me. And the more you looked at me like I was nothing, the more I wanted you to see me and then well…” Louis spread his hands apart, a gesture that tried to contain how far things had gone out of control.

“Well, now we know what’s what, yeah?” Liam looked a bit abashed, and Louis felt a bit guilty, so they were on the same page, emotionally. “We just have to figure out how to be friendly so that we can both see it. Niall and Zayn swear you’re a good sort.” 

“That’s sweet of them, they’re good lads.” Louis looked over at him. “Also, and I’m not sure about this, but I _might_ have been worse the week you hauled me against the wall. That was when my bio-bastard contacted the Sun the first time.” Liam’s expression went wide-eyed, and Louis said “Hey, don’t feel bad. It’s not your fault.”

“No, no, it’s just that…I’m sorry to hear that. One of my cousins has a shit real father and it’s just awful, to see that. Can’t imagine what it would be like to live through. We’ve got plenty of extra dads in 1D if your stepfather isn’t available.” Louis watched Liam’s cheeks lift in a grin. He had a very dry sense of humor, it turned out. Not no humor, like he’d thought, but dry. 

“I’m not speaking to my stepfather at the moment, since he’s leaving my mum, so I’ll keep it in mind. Mum says I’ll get over it.” He does hope so, Mark wasn’t a bad person, but right now he was too angry about what looked to him like a betrayal. Liam looked a bit embarrassed, and Louis shrugged. “Not much to do about it. My family’s a bit of a wreck, Liam. No point in hiding it for the cameras.” With Troy’s return from the dead, his past was being played out for the tabloids, and there wasn’t much he could do about it. “You parents seem good.” 

Liam nodded fervently. “I couldn’t do anything without them. Sorry to hear that your family is a wreck. It must be rough on your mum. She must be so strong, to tell you that it would get better.” Louis nodded. His mum has really been extra special, lately. 

“I know, all this on her and she still drove me to London for the auditions. A lot of people wouldn’t do it, they’d say to take the bus.” Maybe not, but Louis wouldn’t blame her if she did in her situation. “She just keeps on, taking care of everyone, doing her job. I’ve never seen her crack. She knew how much this meant to me, it was my dream, so she made sure I got it. I can’t bloody sing though.” That last part was an aside, since he’d been getting trouble from the vocal coaches since he got there. 

Liam’s mouth dropped open, and then he glared, looking furious. Louis was about to find a safe place to hide when Liam blurted out “You can TOO sing!” It echoed off the side of the way and several people turned to try the source of the outburst. Liam put his hand over his mouth, horrified, and Louis cracked up. 

Liam blinked at him, but didn’t seem upset. After a minute he moved his hand from his mouth. “What I meant to say, is that you have a different range than the rest of us and they’re coaching you as if it were the same.” 

“That’s sweet for you to say, Liam,” Louis said. But Liam shook his head, serious again. 

“I mean it, I had voice lessons. I know keys and a person’s range, I’m okay at reading sheet music. I’m better at sheet music than books to be honest. I wouldn’t lie to buff up your mood.” Louis opened his mouth to say something, but he forgot about it when Liam reached out and touched his arm. 

Louis could feel the tiny jolt of electricity going up his arm from the gentle brush of Liam’s fingers on his arm. Liam pulled back after that, way too soon, and Louis stuttered, trying to say something. “No, no, it’s all right, I don’t mind if you touch me Liam.” 

Liam looked sheepish. “I just, I’m done, actually. Um, my folks aren’t huggers, but they do small things, and Niall is touchy-feely, so I’m getting better, I think, with it. You know, for the lads. But I have to start it, or else I get nervy. Not used to someone just coming up and touching me.” 

Louis thought about coming up behind Liam for a hug and tried to place a mental X over the image. He didn’t want to get thrown against the wall again, especially not for a misunderstanding. “My family hugs all the time, or buys sweets for each other, or makes sweets. I can’t make homemade fudge, but I give nice hugs.” Just to get the idea out there. 

Liam grinned at him. “Well, I’ll take you up on that someday.” Liam stood up then, moving out from under the stairs and stretching. “We might be done. Is there any subject I should stay away from, besides your father figures?” 

Louis has to think about it. “There’s my voice, but you don’t seem to think anything is wrong with it, so I guess not. And for you, don’t surprise you with a hug, and probably not more nipple twists, but GOD those are so tempting to do, you have no idea.” 

“I was never tempted to,” Liam says, because of course he would. “And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with your voice because there isn’t. All right then. Friends?” And Liam holds his hand out for a shake. 

“Friends, I hope,” Louis says, and shakes Liam’s hand. Again there was a slight jolt, an electric feeling from touching Liam that he didn’t expect. Louis’ bisexuality wasn’t a secret (at least it wasn’t until the showrunner twats came around), but he was surprised that it decided to direct itself at Liam. 

“Friends, I’m sure,” Liam answered, and Louis felt Liam brush his thumb over the back of Louis’ hand. He looked up at Liam, who looked as surprised as he was. “Sorry,” he said. “You just have nice hands.” Louis nodded, and decided not to comment on that. He had always figured Liam for straight, although he never talked much about it one way or another. Louis figured it probably meant nothing, and he reluctantly let go of Liam’s hand. “We should go, and take the biscuits with us, we’ve got a long rehearsal coming up.” 

The smile Liam gave Louis was big and sunny and made him feel a flutter in his chest. Dammit. Liam looks around. “It is almost start of rehearsal, isn’t it?” He started gathering up the tea things, and Louis grabbed his cup, downing the rest of his lukewarm tea. 

“We need better snacks around here. Or we could just have Harry make them, how much he talks about being a baker.” That got him a laugh, and they found the kitchen. They both put their tea cups in the dishwasher. Louis wasn’t neat, not really, but he didn’t want to be a twat to the kitchen staff. It just seemed rude. 

Liam looked around. “Should we try to find the other lads before time?” Louis looked Liam over, and he looked fit. Louis already knew he was strong from the incident in the stairwell. It kind of made him want to hide in his bed. 

“Yeah,” he answered instead. “I probably need to give Harry another few hugs before we start.” He looked up at Liam, and he knew that Liam knew how him and Harry were, but he decided to clarify things. “Harry’s not my boyfriend. We’re friends, and Harry’s…clingy, sometimes, he needs someone to be hands on, as a friend.” He hoped that made sense to Liam, who seemed to be used to getting by on his own. 

“Oh,” Liam said, and he had turned a nice pink color. “Okay. It’s your business either way. I’m-I’m not a bigot, Life is hard enough, yeah? “ Liam seemed a bit nervous, like it was too much for him to handle. Must be straight then. Louis swallowed his disappointment and smiled. 

“Sorry, I tell everything,” he said. “I don’t have much of a filter, and I know what me and Harry look like to others. I just didn’t want you buying me and Harry china or anything.” That got him a laugh, and Louis figured they really would be friends. “Okay, let’s find the others.” 

… 

Things became noticeably warmer between them, and over the days and weeks they start building a friendship. But one effect of that for Louis is that he became more and more aware of how attractive Liam was, now that they could stand to be around each other. Liam was silly and sweet and very cute. It struck him as strange. 

He tried not to think about it, but at some point he realized he was holding Liam’s hand when they were watching TV or messing around backstage. They all held hands when they were onstage, getting judged, but this was different. Liam never said anything or acted as if Louis had gone too far. Quite the opposite-he snuggled his warm hand down with Louis’ and that was it. 

One time, they were sitting in front of Liam’s laptop and watching a movie. Louis had moved his hand over to hold Liam’s, and Liam went along with it. Louis was about to ask him why didn’t he find the whole thing really bloody weird when Liam started talking. “You know, I’m glad we made friends with each other,” he said. “Because you like superhero films and comics, and you’re really funny, and you like football. I like Harry a lot, but when he talks about the things he likes I’m lost, mostly.” 

“I know. I get most of what he’s talking about, we like some of the same music. But I know it’s hard to understand him if you’re not right with him all the time.” Liam nodded, and squeezed his hand a bit. Louis thought he’d better bring it up. “You don’t mind it when I hold your hand like that, do you? I just started it and then I didn’t want to stop.” 

That made Liam frown, but he didn’t pull his hand back. “Do you want to stop? Because I will if you want. But if you don’t want to, then neither do I. I like it, it calms me down.” Then he gave Louis a little smile and went back to watching the movie. Louis figured that settled that. 

… 

As much as Louis now liked being around Liam, he did have some negative qualities. The worst, at least as far as their situation was concerned, was micromanaging not only himself but the rest of the group when the pressure was on. And the pressure was on constantly-a week didn’t go by that Harry wasn’t running to the bathroom to vomit, or that Niall didn’t bite his nails down until they bled. Or Zayn, who would sit in a corner with his arms around his knees and just refuse to do anything until he damn well felt like it. Everyone had a different way of dealing with the stress, and most of them were bad. 

At their next rehearsal, Liam was wound up and fussing at everyone, trying to get them to push themselves even harder although everyone was working hard as they could. Louis could see the tired, annoyed looks from Zayn and the overwhelmed stare from Harry. Even Niall looked a bit done. Louis said “Liam, come with me. Five minute break, boys.” Liam looked surprised but didn’t argue as Louis led him into the hall. 

The hallway was clear, which was good. Louis stood in front of Liam, and took both of his hands, holding them in his. He looked Liam in the eye, he still looked confused. “Liam,” he said, “It’s time to stop.” 

Liam’s face went from confused to slightly hurt. Louis was beginning to wonder if he overstepped, but then Liam took a deep breath, and squeezed his hands. “Thank you. Thank you, I needed that. I was pushing everyone too hard.” Liam let go of his hands, and Louis missed his touch. Liam shook his arms and hands out. “That’s better. How are you holding up, then?” 

“I’m actually tired,” Louis said. “Most of the time I just go and go until I fall into bed and sleep like the dead, but now I’m actually feeling fatigue. It must be really bad then. We’re starting to sound good though. Did you hear Niall? Getting stronger all the time.” 

“And getting better all the time too,” Liam nodded, and he gave Louis a crinkle-eyed smile. Louis always loved those. “I’ll be sure to keep an eye on breaks now that you’ve said something. We’re probably all flagging, energy-wise.” Liam put a hand on Louis’ shoulder and rubbed his thumb over Louis’ collarbone. Louis almost tipped his head back and shut his eyes from the contact. 

“Yeah, we probably are,” Louis said, trying to stay focused, but Liam’s hand felt so good and he was tired. He didn’t think about it, but he stepped into Liam’s space and leaned in, pressing his mouth to Liam’s. It was just a brush of lips, but he immediately thought _Shit_. “Liam, I’m sorry, I know you didn’t want that, don’t be mad.” He started to step away, and Liam just grabbed his shoulder again, holding him there. Louis hoped he wasn’t going to be thrown against the wall again, they’d come so far. 

“Oh,” Liam said, and he looked all right. Surprised, but not cold and angry. “I-I’d like for you to do that again, I think. Yes.” Louis felt his jaw drop. 

“Oh. Okay.” Louis came back into his space, and Liam gave him a nervous smile. Louis cupped Liam’s face-he wanted to do this one better-and stood on his toes to kiss Liam again. Liam’s mouth was warm and soft, and he held on to Louis so much it almost ached. Louis pulled back sooner than he wanted to, and licked his lips. “Sorry. We probably need to get back soon. We’ll talk about this later.” 

“Hopefully not to apologize, you don’t need to. I’d like to do this again.” Liam swept his thumb over Louis’ cheekbone, and he felt a silly flutter from it. “Okay, let’s go.” Louis nodded and held Liam’s hand as they went back in-they held hands all the time, so nobody even raised an eyebrow-and then got back to work. Louis concentrated on practice until it was over. 

… 

They were busy, was the thing. 

Louis barely got a chance to talk to Liam alone. Every time he saw Liam, there were cameras, or other people. (Louis did get a spare moment with Zayn, who told him all about how Liam had told Zayn that he’d gotten his first kiss from a boy and was over the moon about it. Zayn seemed proud, so Louis figured he had done alright.) 

And Liam was right there, but unattainable. Louis tried to keep close, but they would be pulled away (the handholding had been noticed by some higher-ups, and they didn’t like it.) But finally, he got a chance to pull Liam aside before yet another rehearsal. Now that Liam was here, he didn’t know what to say to him. But he took Liam’s hand and asked. “How are you, are you okay?” 

Liam smiled at him, all sweetness, and started rubbing his thumb over Louis’ wrist, so delicate and sweet. “I’m fine,” Liam said. “I’m okay, just wish I could spend time with you is all.” Louis honest to God felt _weak_ , from Liam’s touch. He thought he should be embarrassed at how easy he was for Liam, but he honestly couldn’t be bothered. “How are you?” 

Louis was sure Liam could see how relieved he was. “I’m fine, I missed you is all.” Liam gathered him in a hug, and Louis squeezed him. “Sweet, aren’t you? I just wanted to be around you.” 

Liam just curled him up, and Louis was soothed by his strength. “You’re better than I thought you were,” Liam said, and Louis nodded, not going to argue. “Protective, aren’t you? You’re always looking out for us, making us happy.” 

“I try, I have to.” Someone had to be the leader. Liam wanted to be the leader too, but Louis figured that maybe they could share. Liam had put his head on Louis’ shoulder, and his neck was right there for Louis to rub his lips against. So he did, then he kissed the warm skin, and he felt Liam shiver. 

Liam rubbed between Louis’ shoulder blades, and he sighed into Liam’s neck. This was the most physical contact they’d had since the kiss. They were in a spot that didn’t have anyone around, so Louis decided to get a little bold. “I wish I had the time to get you alone, really alone. I just want to lay you down so we can have fun together.” 

Louis is holding Liam close, so he can feel the sharp intake of breath, and the exhale, and the way Liam shudders in his arms. “Lou, don’t talk about that please, not when we don’t even have the time to talk, let alone…do that.” Louis could hear the desperation, and in a way he was glad that he wasn’t the only one. 

“I’m sorry love,” he said, and wondered if he should take back the ‘love’. He decided not to. “I don’t mean to tease you. We’re going about this all wrong, I haven’t even taken you to a film yet.” He rubbed Liam’s back this time, trying to settle him. He still seemed a bit rattled. 

“No, no, I’m not there yet, I’m just not, but I can’t have you spinning scenes about what we’d do together when we can’t even get any time alone,” Liam said, rubbing his back. “A film would be nice, but we don’t need it, I already know you lads better than just about anyone. It’s like family, almost.” 

“That makes us a bit weird, but yes I agree.” Louis pulled back a bit, then reached a hand up to touch Liam’s face. “You’re just a lovely boy, you know that? Beautiful, beautiful to look at.” Liam smiled and Louis brushed his fingers over Liam’s neck, to feel that as well. 

“You’re not as bad as you make out either, so kind under all that gruff,” Liam said back and Louis didn’t try to deny it. Liam leaned in and kissed Louis’s cheek, and Louis got a happy thrill up his spine from it. 

“It’s true. I only act scary as a shell, to keep people back.” He could fight if he had to, but it was better to push those away that he felt needed pushing away. He kissed Liam again, keeping it soft so they didn’t get too carried away. “I hate to say this, but I think we need to go back.” Liam kissed him again, and pulled back with a sigh. 

“Yeah, we probably should. But Louis? Whatever happens with the show, I want to see where this takes us, you and I. I don’t want it to end, okay? Even if they bounce us and we have to go back home, I don’t really care.” Liam held his hand then, for a few seconds, and then let it go. 

“Same,” Louis said. “No way could I just forget you after this. If we have to go back home, then I’ll come to Wolvie to see you.” Louis is confident that Liam means it, he doesn’t say things he doesn’t mean. They walk back together, close together, and get ready for rehearsal. 

… 

They don’t win X Factor, but things still go better for them then he had ever imagined when he went to audition. Now his life was completely different. They went on the X Factor tour, which was mad. Then they got flats while they worked on their record, Louis sharing with Harry. It seemed that him and Liam would finally have some time, but they were still working hard. 

One night, Harry went out and Louis was by himself, so he called Liam over. “Hey,” he said. “I’m here alone, do you want to come up?” There was a pause, and Louis said quickly “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, you know that.” 

“I can come over, yeah,” Liam said, sounding shy and a bit reserved, and Louis hoped that the novelty hadn’t worn off for Liam. He tried not to be hurt when Liam had to go on fake dates with Danielle (Louis tried not to be jealous of them and failed). But now, Liam was saying yes to him. “Give me about five or ten minutes.” 

“Got it,” Louis said, and he hung up. Now he was a bit nervous, he had no idea what Liam would be all right with. Liam had told him he was a virgin and was worried that they might go too far, not sure where his limits were, and that worried him in turn. By the time Liam rang the doorbell, Louis had convinced himself he would be fine with a night watching Netflix. 

When Louis answered the door, there was Liam, looking up from under his lashes and smiling shyly. “Hey,” he said. Liam handed him something-a bag with some of Louis’ favorite candy. “I thought I should bring you something, and I didn’t have any flowers, so…” Louis smiled even as he shook his head. This sweet, well-meaning nerd. Louis liked him so much. 

“Thanks,” he said. “You didn’t have to, but I’m not turning down Smarties. Come on in,” he said, and Liam shuffled in. Louis closed the door and got in front of Liam so he could kiss him. Liam immediately opened to it, and wrapped a big hand around his hip. Louis felt reassured by his being there, even though he wasn’t even the one with cause to be nervous. 

“Liam,” he said when he was done. “We’re not going to do anything you don’t want to do. We don’t have to do anything at all, if you just want to kiss, that’s fine. I would never pressure you into anything, you know that.” 

“I don’t know, you like to pressure me into pranks sometimes,” Liam said and Louis rolled his eyes. “I don’t-I’m not ready for full sex, I don’t think. I’m a little scared of it.” Louis nodded. “But…can we lie on your bed and see where that takes us? I’ll tell you if something’s too much.” 

“Are you sure?” Louis said even though he got about half-hard just hearing Liam say that. “We can do that if you want. I’d like to.” That was putting it mildly. “Clothes off or on?” 

Liam looked at him as if he was about to choke on his own tongue. “Um, off, I guess,” he said, and he already looked a bit panicked. 

“Liam,” Louis said. “You can say no. You can say no to anything, it’s all right. Look, I’m going to get us some Cokes, I’ll be right back.” Louis walked to his kitchen on numb legs, wondering if he was in over his head. He was pretty sure that Liam was. He fumbled a couple of Cokes out of the fridge and came back. “Here we are-” He stopped, stunned in place. 

Liam’s clothes were on the floor, and Liam was in his bed, the covers up to his shoulders. He gave Louis a nervous but sweet smile, and suddenly Louis got control of his body and moved over there, putting the Cokes on the nightstand. “Hey,” Liam said. “Um, if you want to, get your clothes off and join me?” 

“Alright,” Louis said, and he pulled his shirt off. Liam had seen him shirtless dozens of times, and Louis had seen him, but Liam still watched like it was the most amazing thing he’d ever seen. Louis kicked off his Vans and unbuttoned his trousers and soon he’d taken everything off. “Can I get in?” 

Liam was staring at him, but he shook himself after a bit. “Oh, yes, sure, come on in.” Louis grinned at him and slid in under the covers. He thought he saw Liam’s pants on the floor, but he wasn’t sure. “Are you naked, all the way? And why do you have the covers up so high?” 

“Yeah, I am,” Liam said, and he sounded proud of that fact. “I did it quickly so I wouldn’t get scared, but then I got a bit scared anyway and covered up with the sheet. I hope you’re not mad about that.” Louis shook his head and kissed Liam. He opened his mouth to it, and they kissed for a long minute before Louis pulled back. 

“I’m not mad at all. If you’re scared, we’ll just be careful, do what you want to do. I do want to touch you, I admit to that.” He had Liam in his arms, and his skin was warm and soft. Louis wanted to touch him all over, maybe even get his mouth on his dick. But he had to wait until Liam was sure. 

“Let’s kiss more,” Liam said, and Louis was on board with that. They kept kissing, Liam smiling into them as they went. Louis forgot himself and slid a hand down to grope Liam’s bum, and he made a squeaking noise and bucked into it. 

“I’m sorry,” Louis said, but Liam shook his head. 

“No, no. It’s okay. You can do that more.” Liam kissed him again, and then pulls back. “It’s just…do I look okay? I’ve got a bit of pudge, or I did, I think it’s mostly gone now. Nobody ever wanted to be with me back home, and I’m the same person, I was just on telly, so I don’t know if I’m someone you want.” Liam blurted all that out, fast, and Louis had to stare at him for a few seconds. 

“Liam,” he finally said. “I’ve been telling you how beautiful you are since we started this. Don’t be nervous about that. I’ve already seen a lot of your body just from us changing around each other. I love what I’ve seen. You don’t have to cover yourself.” Liam looked at him, and then gave him that smile, with his eyes crinkled up, and Louis had to kiss Liam again. 

“Um,” Liam said between kisses. “Is it okay if I touch you? You probably know how you like to be touched.” 

“Sure,” Louis said right away. “You want to touch all of me or just grab my dick?” 

Liam pinked up at that, but didn’t look like he was ready to leave. “Everything. I’ll um, work my way down. Um, lie on your back?” 

Louis had no problem with this idea, so he followed orders. Liam pushed the covers down a bit, until they were bare from the waist up. Liam moved so he was hovering over him, and then kissed him again. “I just…” Liam trailed off, kissing Louis’ collarbone, then his neck. His hands stroked gently over his arms, shoulders, and chest. “You’ve done a lot, right?” 

“Yeah,” Louis said, arching as Liam touched his nipples. “Girls and lads. I know I haven’t done everything, but I probably have some idea if you want to ask for something.” He figured that was all that Liam needed to know, that he wasn’t going to shock Louis. Liam grinned at him, so he figured he must be right. 

Liam kept exploring him softly, touching his body like it was precious and fragile. Louis was hard, so hard it was aching, and he figured Liam had to be in the same state. But he didn’t want to rush Liam, or make him feel like he was doing something wrong. “I’m really turned on,” he said, figuring it wasn’t pressure to tell Liam how he was feeling. 

“Um, I know,” Liam said. “I can feel you against my leg, it’s brilliant.” Louis wanted to say _Well what are you going to do about it, then?_ , but he kept that silent. Liam kissed him again, moaning into it, and then took Louis’ hand, guiding it down. “Um, that’s me,” Liam said, as if Louis didn’t know it was his dick he was now holding and not his own one. “It feels okay, yeah? It’s normal?” 

“God, Liam,” he said. Liam’s schoolmates had really done a number on him. “It’s normal, it feels brilliant, thick. Can I see it?” Liam looked at him, wide-eyed, and Louis let go of his cock. Liam looked like he was close to coming just from that touch. 

“Okay,” Liam said, and he pushed the covers down further and sat up on his knees so Louis could look. Liam’s cock was big, long and thick at the same time, and uncut like his. Louis scooted up so he was closer to it and wrapped his hand around Liam’s cock. Liam let out a gasp and thrust up into his fist. Louis did it again and Liam gave a strangled cry before coming over Louis’ fist, just like that. 

“Holy shit,” Louis said. Liam had come so fast he didn’t even get a chance to look at his face, just at Liam’s cock. He looked up at Liam, and he felt like laughing. But the expression on Liam’s face made it clear that was a very bad idea. “Wow.” 

“I’m sorry,” Liam said, and Louis shook his head, but Liam kept going. “I just got so excited, from you touching me. That’s so embarrassing, I don’t have any experience and you probably think I’m an idiot…” Liam was winding himself up, so Louis pulled Liam in for a kiss to quiet him down a bit. 

“It’s all right Liam,” he says when they pull apart. “I didn’t ask first anyway, I should have. It really doesn’t matter, we’re young. You’ll probably get hard again in a few minutes. And anyway, now it’s my turn.” Louis flopped on his back and stared up at Liam until he got the message. Liam reached for his cock, very slowly, as if he thought he’d get bitten. Then finally, he was touching Louis and _oh God_ , Liam might not be the only one to go off too soon. Louis bit his lip as Liam softly explored him. 

“Don’t know what I’m doing,” Liam whispered, and Louis was about to tell him to quit worrying when he said “So I’m going to touch you like I do myself. If there’s anything you like, tell me.” Then Liam paused, lifted his hand to his mouth, and gave it a good lick before moving it back to Louis’ dick. 

“I have lube,” Louis said, but Liam didn’t stop, he just kept using his hand and spit. Louis decided he didn’t care, especially after Liam twisted his wrist and he moaned. Liam looked at him, and Louis recognized the expression from whenever he hit a good high note in rehearsal. He had done well, and he was allowing himself to be a little smug about it. 

“Keep going,” Louis said. He was getting close, and he couldn’t have his lover stopping just because he was feeling pleased with himself. Lover, huh. He’ll have to call Liam that later. “Do that again.” Liam looked at him, smirking, and did it again. 

Liam moved, not taking his hand off of Louis’ cock, until he was close enough to kiss. Louis leaned up to reach his mouth and Liam kissed him as he wanked him off. Louis wrapped his arms around Liam, pulling him close, wanting that smooth body next to his. Liam fumbled his grip a bit, but then continued as Louis gasped and moaned into his mouth. 

When he finally came, Liam kept wanking him until Louis whimpered and pushed his hand away. “Sorry,” Liam said. “It just felt so good, touching you.” Liam moved then, sitting on the side of the bed as Louis caught his breath. “Can I clean up?” Louis looked at him, wondering what was making Liam act so strangely. 

“Yes, and bring a flannel so I can clean up.” Liam went quietly to the bathroom and Louis listened to the water running. After a minute, Liam came back with a damp flannel. He looked at Louis’ stomach for a minute, and then smiled. He cleaned Louis up with the flannel, and then put it in the hamper. “You could have just thrown that on the floor, I would have,” Louis said, and Liam rolled his eyes. 

“You’re a menace, though. One of us has to be neat. Or neater.” Liam got up, and Louis was about to protest where the hell he thought he was going, but instead Liam just moved to the other side of the bed and got in, putting an arm around him. “Sorry, got nervous for a bit, after.” 

“Was it too soon?” Liam shook his head, and then dropped a kiss on Louis’ mouth. 

“No. But I needed a second anyway. I never thought anyone would ever be with me, and-no offense-I didn’t know I liked boys too. Not until you and me started holding hands. So just for a minute, it all seemed unreal. Does that make sense?” Louis could see Liam’s worry, his constant anxiety that he wasn’t normal, and Louis nodded. 

“It makes sense love, it makes sense.” Louis pulled Liam in for another kiss, which turned into another one before Liam broke off. “Okay, now,” Louis said, trying to sound like he was in control. “We can drink these Cokes if you want, and take a break before round two, or we can keep making out until Round Two hits us, your choice.” 

“I’m not that stupid,” Liam said, and Louis didn’t have much warning before Liam rolled on top of him, kissing him again, hands on his face. 

… 

A week or so after Louis got Liam in his bed, he got an urgent call from the record company, and when he found out what it was, he felt like there was a rock in his stomach. The suits demanded he come in for an emergency meeting, and he did. When he passed Liam in the hall, he smiled and tried to stop him, but Louis passed him by. He couldn’t think about Liam just then. 

When he got back, he tried to go straight back to his room, but Harry and Liam were both trying to get him to talk. “I’m tired, lads,” is all he said before going back to his room and shutting the door. He knew he had to face the boys sooner or later, but he wasn’t ready. He didn’t know how to explain himself. 

Two days after that, Liam searched him out when he was sitting alone. “I tried to listen at the door, last meeting you had alone,” Liam said, and Louis closed his eyes. “They were saying something about this creep, but I couldn’t hear much and I think maybe you should tell me? Instead of me trying to listen in on stuff and getting it wrong.” 

Louis nodded, but he didn’t look. “Could you put an arm around?” he said, and Liam immediately did it. “I’m so scared that after you hear what happened, you’re never going to want to touch me again.” That was why he put himself apart. Normally when he was angry he spit and fought and was sarcastic, but this just made him fold onto himself. 

He took a deep breath. “We were going through a rough patch, at home. This was a year or two ago, my stepdad and mum were fighting a lot, there were a lot of bills, and I couldn’t hold down a job to save me life. So, I went on a site and put up a page. I didn’t put any pictures of my face, thank fuck, but I put ones of my bum and my cock. And some men got in touch with me through that, and…they paid me. At the time I didn’t feel bad about it at all, but now…” He pauses to rub his face, not looking at Liam. “One of them is trying to blackmail me. That’s why the label is involved.” 

Liam didn’t say anything, and Louis was still afraid to look, to see the disgust in Liam’s eyes. Liam wasn’t like him, not at all, he would never do something like that, no matter how much he needed money. Then Liam’s grip on him tightened. “Oh Lou, I could never…” Liam started, and Louis tensed, waiting for Liam to tell him he was disgusting. “I could never hate you for trying to provide for your sisters.” Louis opened his eyes then, blinking at his own lap, Liam squeezing him tight. 

“I didn’t have such a bad run of it, at the time,” Louis said, and he dared to look at Liam. Liam had tears brimming in his eyes and he immediately cupped Louis’ face when he saw it. Louis leaned in, and put his hand on Liam’s arm. “Nothing bad happened to me, until now.” 

Liam snorted. “Well, that’s on the creep making trouble, not you,” he said. Liam kissed his cheek, then rubbed his lips against Louis’ temple, and put a hand in his hair. “I’m right here, I love you Lou, don’t think that I don’t. Doesn’t change anything.” 

Louis pulled back a little. “You don’t think less of me? I mean, I’ve always been a rogue, but this might be too much for some people.” When it was just him, single and alone, it didn’t matter what people thought. It wasn’t like that now. 

“You weren’t going out hurting people Lou. You did that for your family, I could never hate you. I love you.” Louis finally let himself relax enough to hold Liam back. Liam had been saying the L word since their first night together, and Louis hadn’t been discouraging him, but it had been weird to say back. Maybe he was holding back without a good reason. 

“Thank you. I was so scared when that bastard tried to blackmail me. Our team is on it though. The first meeting, they were all mad at me-mostly because I hadn’t told them before that-and then Simon of all people, he said ‘Shut up, we’ve dealt with this before’.” Louis laughed a little. It was funny, in a way. 

“He’s amazing when he isn’t terrifying, yeah?” Liam kissed his cheek, and Louis pulled back enough so he could get to Liam’s mouth. “Are you okay now?” 

“Somewhat. I need to tell the other lads, and apologize for shutting everyone out. I didn’t know what else to do, the letter he sent was so mean. Like he wasn’t there for it too.” Louis had no problems with most of his customers, but that guy was another story. 

“Shhh baby, he’s a creep. Don’t worry about it, you’re perfect.” Liam pet his hair as he said it, rocking him in his arms, and Louis just let him. He didn’t feel like pushing Liam away, after doing it for so long. He needed him near. 

Louis let out a hoarse laugh. “Not perfect. But yeah, I’m not the one trying to blackmail someone. If you don’t mind that I literally sold my ass, I guess I won’t worry about it anymore.” He could almost feel Liam wince at that, but that was the truth, right. He had done it. 

“Don’t put yourself down, I hate that.” Louis didn’t say anything, he did that a lot, but it wasn’t such a big deal. “I wish you didn’t have to do it, and I hate the idea of those blokes benefiting because you needed the money. But I could never be-disgusted, I guess, with you. Not with how wonderful you are.” 

Louis kissed Liam’s neck. “It was my last-ditch effort for making money,” he said into Liam’s shoulder. “And most of the guys were alright blokes. They were just normal people. Not this guy, obviously, but most of them. I mean, I’m not holding a lot of grudges.” 

Liam moved them around until they were facing each other. Liam looked so sweet and honest that Louis had a hard time meeting his gaze. “I just want you safe and happy Lou. You don’t need to be worrying about this shit, when we’re at the start of something amazing.” 

“Thanks.” Louis agreed that they were starting something great, both the record and his thing with Liam. “Should I tell the others?” 

“I won’t spill your secrets,” Liam said and Louis nodded because he _knew_ that, and Liam continued. “But the lads, they know you, and they wouldn’t think badly of you for something like that. I think you should, if only to set an example. One Direction is all of us, after all.” Liam pecked a kiss to his mouth and Louis smiled. 

“Maybe. But not yet. I haven’t had any time with you in days, I missed you so much Liam.” Then Louis initiates a longer kiss, one hand cupping Liam’s face. Liam met him with it, seemingly needing the contact as much as he did. 

When Louis broke the kiss, he snuggled into Liam’s arms again. “I was so scared Liam,” he said, and then he kissed the shell of Liam’s ear, then his neck. “Scared about the blackmail, and then scared about what you would think. I’m glad that it’s all right.” 

Liam pulled back to look Louis in the eyes. “Louis, I could never hate you. We’re in this together, the two of us, and the five of us, I promise.” Louis looked into Liam’s brown eyes and he nodded, wanting to believe in good things for a change. 

“You’re so sweet,” Louis said. He was almost scared of how Liam loved him so effortlessly, like nothing could ever hurt them. But in a way it made him braver, that maybe he could love Liam back the same way. He turned his head to kiss Liam’s palm. 

“You’re easy to love,” Liam whispered, and Louis didn’t know if that was the truth or just what Liam told himself in order to be there for Louis the way he needed to be. 

… 

Louis told the others that night. It went better than he thought it would. Liam was right, they all took Louis’ side. Niall and Zayn were also vocal about trying to find this guy and beat him up, which was funny considering who was involved. Harry pouted at him, big green eyes full of tears, until Louis reassured him that he was all right, he promised. When it was all over, Liam went with Louis back to his room to sleep. 

“That was awkward,” Louis said as Liam curled around him in bed. “It was hard to look at Harry crying like that.” Liam kissed his neck, and Louis moaned. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Liam said. “They know, everyone took your side, nobody blames you. It’s all right.” Liam kissed him again on his jaw, and then pulled back. “I kind of want to ask you for something,” he said. “But I’m nervous. Maybe not tonight?” 

“You want me to fuck you?” Louis said. They had done everything but, hands and oral and rubbing against each other, so that was pretty much what was left. “Okay. I’ll do it whenever you feel you’re ready. Do you want me to top?” A lot of his experience had been with him taking it. That was just how it was, but he liked to top when he got the chance. 

“Um, yes. Wait, is that an option? You on the bottom?” Louis nodded, still secretly hoping that Liam would still want to bottom. “Oh. Well, I’ve been thinking of you doing me, so…that way, at first.” Liam was blushing just talking about it, and Louis found it sort of adorable. 

...  

“Okay,” Louis said. “If that’s how you want it, let me know and I’ll get the place ready. I’ll tell Harry to spend the night with Niall, something like that. And you and me can take as long as we need.” 

“Does it take a long time?” Liam looked like he hadn’t considered that. “I’ve only watched porn, and they never show, um, prep at all. So I don’t really know how long it takes.” 

“It can,” Louis said. “That’s the only bad thing about it, sometimes you lose your stiffy before you’ve even got the second finger in. But don’t worry, if that happens I’ll get hard again, I’m sure of it.” He leaned in and kissed Liam, who kissed him back a bit desperately. “It’s all right, don’t be scared. I can take care of you.” 

“I know,” Liam said, and he looked at Louis with complete trust. It made him nervous-he wasn’t sure he deserved that. “You’ve been so amazing with me, patient. I don’t know if I’m really that good, but you make things great.” Liam looked a bit unsure, and Louis kissed him again, trying to get that look off his face. “One thing-will it hurt?” 

“Only if you’re tense. And I can play with you and work you open until you’re not.” Louis was glad for all his experience then, even if most of it hadn’t meant anything emotionally. He kissed Liam again, hard from just thinking about it. They were both still in their pants, but Louis rolled them over until Liam was blinking up at him. “I want you, say the word and I’ll do it.” 

“Just…” Liam still had a hard time asking for what he wanted. Louis rolled his hips, pressing their pelvises together until Liam looked like he was going to turn purple. “Just…go down on me?” 

“Of course love,” Louis said as he pulled Liam’s pants down and off. Liam had a lovely cock, and Louis wasted no time getting it in his mouth. He sucked the head in, listening to Liam groan and sigh. He pulled off. “Careful, if Harry hears you he’ll make fun of your noises tomorrow.” Harry had done it before, the cheek. Liam had looked like he wanted to crawl under the table. 

“Okay,” Liam said, and he tried to hold his reactions in. He still whimpered when Louis mouthed at his balls, but Louis didn’t think Harry would catch that one. They kept it up until Liam yanked his hair and Louis pulled off as Liam came. “Oh God,” he said, panting. “Every time you do that I feel like it’s too much.” 

“It’s just enough,” Louis said, winking at him, and Liam shoved at his shoulder. Louis moved up the bed, walking on his knees, his own cock hard and leaking. “You gonna take care of me, Li? I know you like to now.” Teaching Liam how to give head had been very fun, and now he couldn’t wait to do it most nights. 

“Yeah, come closer,” Liam said, his voice low and warm, and Louis moved up near the head of the bed, his cock almost right in Liam’s face. Liam rubbed over his hip as he turned his head, holding Louis’ cock with the other hand as he wrapped his perfect lips over Louis’ dick. 

“That’s my darling,” Louis said. He was still in the habit of giving Liam praise and instruction even though he didn’t need it anymore. But Liam glowed when Louis praised him, every time, so he kept doing it. Liam looked up at him, eyes twinkling, and went further. Louis sighed, petting Liam’s hair as he kept going, until he was the one pulling Liam off his cock just before he came. 

“Brilliant,” Liam said as he wiped his mouth. Then he got up to get them a flannel, and Louis watched him go. When Liam got back, they cleaned up and Louis spooned him, playing with Liam’s hair. “So, you have condoms? For…what we talked about.” 

“Sure,” Louis said. “Don’t worry my Leeyum, I’ll take good care of you, like you do me. It just might take some more time, is all. So try to pick an off day.”Liam giggled, and Louis turned to cut off the lamp, and they went to sleep. 

… 

It was a few days later before Liam sent Louis a text saying he’d like to have a night together, to do what they’d talked about. Louis almost made Liam spell it out, but he left it alone and texted him back **Great, remember what I told you about cleaning up. Be here at 6.**

**I will, this is tues right?** Louis texted in the affirmative and Liam sent him another one. **Okay. Gotta go and do my parts. Love you**

**See you pumpkin** , Louis sent back. He still didn’t say ‘I love you’ very much. Liam had never said anything about it, so Louis figured it wasn’t bothering him. He set his phone aside and puttered around until it was time to record himself. 

Later that night, Liam showed up at Louis’s doorstep. Louis let him in, and Liam came in immediately for a hug. “I’m still a bit nervous,” he said. “I did what you told me to, to clean up.” Louis kissed Liam’s cheek and then pulled back. 

“Good. Remember, you can back out at any time. Don’t agree to something just because you think you should.” If Liam was never ready, Louis could live with it, because Liam already gave him more than he ever expected from a partner. That was just how it was. 

“I want to,” Liam said. “It’s just hard, for me to ask for things. You know how I am, I think I should get whatever I want myself, and I can’t in this case.” Louis nodded, he did know that. Liam had grown up thinking he could never rely on anyone. It broke Louis’s heart, sometimes. 

“Well, let’s go back if you want. Do you want anything first, something from the fridge?” 

“No. I’m afraid I’ll back out.” Liam gave him a little nervous smile, and Louis leaned in and kissed it, trying to be reassuring to his boyfriend. It was weird, that they were that to each other. But that meant he had to be what Liam needed, and he was pretty sure he wasn’t. 

“Let’s go back to your room,” Liam said then, snapping Louis out of his thoughts. Louis nodded and Liam wrapped a hand around his wrist, leading him back to his own room. “Harry’s gone for the night?” 

“Yeah, I told you, he’s visiting Niall, they’re gonna play FIFA and prank call Zayn or something.” Harry and Niall had been getting closer as Louis and Liam spent more time together. Louis was glad, Harry really did need to have someone around most of the time. Then Liam was in his room, taking off his shirt, and he stopped thinking about Harry. 

Liam looked at him, expectant, and Louis nodded and started taking off his own clothes. By now they had seen each other naked a lot, it wasn’t something new. But Louis felt a big on-edge anyway. When they were naked, they got into bed and Louis rolled them over so he was on top, kissing Liam slowly. 

“Hey,” Liam said, when Louis moved down to his neck, nuzzling the birth mark there. 

“Hey,” Louis said back. He could feel Liam’s cock against his thigh. “Do you want me to start prepping you, or should we play some more?” 

“You can try, I suppose. If I don’t like it I’ll let you know.” Louis looked him over, but while Liam looked a bit nervous, it didn’t seem serious. “Please,” Liam said, and well, Louis could never resist Liam when he was being ridiculously polite. 

“Okay.” Louis moved off of Liam, and got the lube he had on the nightstand. Liam watched him with big eyes as he squirted some on his fingers. “Spread your legs there Liam,” he said, and Liam did so, holding his legs up, hands under his knees. “That’s perfect Li,” Louis said as he rubbed his finger, trying to warm the lube up. 

Liam sucked in a surprised breath when Louis touched him, rubbing over his hole carefully. “it’s all right love, breathe, I have you,” Louis said, trying to be reassuring. Liam whimpered and a hand came down, brushing Louis’s hair. 

“I’m okay,” Liam whispered, and Louis kissed his thigh. He looked up at Liam, saw his big puppy eyes blinking down at him. “You can, you know, put it in.” 

Louis laughed at that, at his polite and sweet boy, and got his hair yanked for his trouble. “All right my Liam,’ he said, and he gently pressed one finger in to the first knuckle, looking up to see how Liam liked it. 

Liam had closed his eyes, but he was breathing deep and steady, and didn’t look like he was bothered. Louis twisted his finger around trying to loosen Liam up. “Okay?” Liam hummed in response, and Louis took that to mean yes. 

Louis liked topping, but prepping could be boring. At least, with most people it was. Liam was kind of a delight to be with, since every time Louis did something new he would jerk or move or respond in one way or another. When Liam started to grumble, Louis looked up. “Want to stop?” 

“No. No, could you, um, do more? Like another finger?” Louis grinned at Liam, who looked a little pink in the face. 

“Of course,” he said, and got more lube on as he went with two. Liam _sighed_ sounded satisfied and happy and Louis thought he would come right then. He decided he’d better not. Liam would be cross with him if he messed up their first time. 

Eventually, after more fingering and Liam reassuring Louis that yes, really, he was loose enough, Louis got the condom on and moved over Liam. Liam put his legs up higher. “There you go,” Louis mumbled, and guided himself in. “Fuck, you’re tight”. 

“Don’t come yet,” Liam said, and Louis didn’t answer. The tight heat of Liam was almost overwhelming. It felt amazing, but it reminded him to be careful too. He slid in slowly, so slowly, and Liam grunted. When he was all the way in, he kissed Liam’s neck, and Liam whimpered. 

“Feels good,” Liam said, and Louis pulled back and thrust back in, slowly, and Liam made a desperate sound, clawing at Louis’s shoulder. That just set him off, and soon Louis was thrusting steadily as Liam clung to him. It was all over too soon, with Liam biting his shoulder as Louis came. 

“I told you not to come too soon,” Liam said when Louis looked up at him. “Touch me, please,” he said, and Louis shook his head at Liam still being polite as he reached between them to grab Liam’s cock. Liam surged up to kiss him while Louis stroked him, until finally Liam came over Louis’s hand. Louis licked it and Liam laughed. 

“I don’t know if that’s hot or weird,” Liam said as Louis kissed his neck, then rolled off him to go to the bathroom. “That’s how I feel about you a lot, actually.” 

“Oh, ha, ha,” Louis said as he came back with a flannel. He cleaned Liam up and then snuggled with him, Liam’s face in his neck. “Was it okay? I’m sorry it was too fast, you just felt so good.” He shivered as Liam poked his tongue out right against the vein in his neck. Then Liam looked up at him. 

“It was. I’m a bit sore now. Didn’t expect you to do it like that. But I’m not disappointed. And, um, I love you.” 

Louis nodded. “Love you too Liam,” he said, and then immediately felt like shit when Liam looked relieved. “Sorry I don’t say it more.” 

“Why don’t you?” Louis looked at Liam’s beautiful, honest face, and couldn’t think of an answer. So he shook his head and Liam accepted it, kissing him again and snuggling with him. Louis turned the lamp off, and they slept curled together in his bed. 

… 

“Do you want to switch rooms?” 

Louis was on his second bowl of cereal when Harry popped off with that one. Liam had left early, to go on his run, and when Louis woke up he was already gone. Louis blinked at his bowl for a few seconds before he could remember how words worked. “What makes you say that?” is what he decided on. 

“I just know that you’re spending a lot more time with Liam, and it looks like it’s serious,” Harry said. “I can room with Niall if you want to switch. I don’t mind.” Harry was eating a bagel, and looked over at him, sincere. 

“I don’t think so,” Louis said. “We adore each other, but I still think we’re best if we don’t live together. You know? Like, if we were together all the time he’d try pulling me out of the bed to run with him, and other things I refuse to do. Unless he asks me, I’m going to say no. For now,” he added as an afterthought. 

“For now,” Harry agreed, and nibbled at his bagel. There was a pause. “I had a good time with Niall last night.” 

“Good,” Louis said, focused on his cereal again. “Did you two play FIFA all night?” 

Harry looked at him again. “Not all night,” he said. “At some point we wound up fucking.” 

Louis nearly choked on his cereal. Harry watched him cough, a smug smile on his face. 

When Louis had gotten himself under control he said “So you’re asking for yourself then? Would you rather live with Niall?” 

“Dunno really. I like being there with him, but we’re not all in love like you and Liam. I just thought it would be easier, is all. But neither of you do anything the easy way, so I should have known.” Harry nodded at his own proclamation, and Louis couldn’t say anything. 

He was kind of right, after all. 

… 

Later that day Niall and Harry told everyone about the two of them. Liam barely reacted, his eyes widening just a little. Zayn was actually upset. “Fantastic, you’re all buggering each other, and I’m left alone in my flat. I’m disgusted.” 

“You can come join me and Haz if you’re lonely,” Niall said, and Louis had to laugh at the face Harry made. He didn’t seem to want to share at all. Zayn shook his head, and Niall shrugged. “Just offering, mate.” 

“So, this isn’t going to mess up the band, you two having a fling?” Liam said, sounding worried. 

Harry looked over at Liam and said “If you and Louis haven’t, I don’t think we will. We’re just fucking around, can’t go out with a girl without paps everywhere.. You and Louis are a lot different.” 

“You know,” Louis said then, leaning forward and putting his elbows on his knees. “We never asked you guys how you felt about me and Liam being so serious.” 

“No point,” Zayn said. “We knew you two would do it anyway.” 

“It’s better than Liam nearly knocking your head off,” Niall said. 

“I don’t mind at all, you two are good for each other.” Harry said, and then picked at his nail polish. Louis looked over at Liam, and shrugged. Liam smiled, just a small one. Louis figured that was the closest thing to a blessing he was going to get from this bunch. 

… 

“Hey mum,” Louis was tired. It had been a long day of recording, trying to get their record ready. Life was strange right then-they had tons of fans but no music out. There were girls outside their gate all the time. Louis felt hemmed in, which never led to good things. So he made sure to call his mum every night, to keep him grounded. 

“Hey Louis,” his mum said, and then they talked about things over than his job for a few minutes. It was a good call, and near the end she said “So how’s Liam?” Louis had told her that they were seeing each other, but not much else. “I still don’t really know how that happened, you know.” 

“He stood up to me and I liked it,” Louis said, and his mum laughed. She knew how he could be, but he also knew that if his mum knew that Liam had banged his head on the wall, she’d be angry at him. Best to keep that under wraps then. “And since then, it’s been really good. He’s kind. To me.” 

“That’s very important,” she said. Louis tended to be terrified of getting close to people, but Liam had sort of wriggled under that boundary before Louis even noticed. “I’m sorry, you know. I know that the turmoil at our house…a lot of that was my fault. It disturbed me when I saw how it affected you.” 

“Mum, no. None of that was your fault,” Louis said, voice getting higher and louder. “No, what happened, happened, and you’re not responsible for how I reacted to it.” 

“I think I am,” his mum said. “You joined that website, I was terrified for you.” 

“That had nothing to do with you and Mark, it was just for money.” Louis thought about that weird few months he spent dating blokes for cash, and how his mum always acted like it didn’t bother her. He should have known better. “Mum, that wasn’t your fault. And I’m fine.” 

“Someone tried to blackmail you, you weren’t fine!” Louis felt his mouth drop open as he hears his mum burst into tears. “You didn’t need to do that, we were getting by, I don’t know what made you think that was the solution. I supported you because I always will, but you scared five years off my life.” 

“I’m sorry mum,” Louis said when he could trust his voice. “I’m so sorry. I felt like it was the only way to help. And I admit, I kind of liked it.” He had enjoyed not always being in control, and the danger excited him too. He was sure his mum probably knew, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it before now. 

“I know you did, you never do anything you don’t like. Tell me you were safe, please.” 

Louis had been, he thought his mum knew that. “Yeah, of course,” he said, and he heard her take a deep breath. 

“Okay. I think I have to go, I have to put the twins to bed. Sleep well love, I know you’ll have a busy day tomorrow. Tell all the boys I said hi, especially Liam. Tell him to call me sometime, all right?” 

“Okay. Don’t give him the third degree though, Liam’s a bit sensitive,” Louis said, and then they got off the phone. Louis stared into space for a bit, then he went to find Liam. 

Liam was on the couch, staring at his phone. He looked up when he saw Louis coming, and smiled until he got a better look at Louis’s expression. “Lou? What’s wrong?” 

“Hey,” Louis said, and he sat down next to Liam. Liam put his phone down and snuggled him closer. “Just had an emotional call with my mum. It didn’t go so well, but she wants you to call her.” 

“Is she mad at me?” Liam looked stricken. Louis made a silent note to himself: _Boyfriend thinks everything is his fault. Must reassure_. 

“No pumpkin, she isn’t. She just wants to talk to you since she knows about us.” Louis rubbed Liam’s back through his shirt, trying to get him to settle. “Don’t worry. I think she just wants to see how you’re doing.” Liam looked worried, but didn’t say anything. After a few minutes, he snuggled in. “That’s right. Don’t be scared of her. At least not yet, she just yelled at me proper good, but I deserved it.” 

“No you didn’t,” Liam said, and Louis decided not to correct him. If Liam loved him enough to defend him without knowing all the facts, that was a good thing. Liam leaned in, and the kiss was sweet. When Liam pulled back, he was smiling at him, a funny little thing. “I never thought this would happen. I used to hate you.” 

“I know,” Louis said. “I know, but it’s okay. I never hated you, by the way. But I was competitive with you, I admit that. You forgive me now, right?” Liam looked at him like he was daft and kissed him again. 

“Of course,” He said. Then Liam lapsed into silence, staring into space. “It’s weird,” he said after a minute. “Everyone thinks you’re with Harry. And I swear you two play that up in public. I mean, I don’t mind, I know you’re not with him but…why?” 

Louis took a second before answering. He wanted to explain it right. “To protect us,” he said, intertwining his fingers with Liam’s. “If me and Harry play up our friendship in front of the cameras, nobody will think to look for you and me. Did you know that even most of our management think me and Harry are a couple? I mean, we already acted like that, but since you and me became a thing, we started doing it more.” 

“Really?” Liam looked surprised. “Why? I mean, if our team knew, they wouldn’t try to break us up, would they?” Louis sent a silent prayer that someone could make his gorgeous boyfriend a bit less naïve, and took a deep breath. 

“Sure they could. You already have a fake girlfriend. They’re trying to set Harry up again. It’s what they do-create scandal without being too scandalous. If the fucking Sun found out about you and me, they would do their best to ruin One Direction. So Harry is being a decoy.” 

“Oh,” Liam said, and he gave Louis another sweet smile. “I should thank him then. That’s nice, that he’s helping us.” They sat there in silence until Liam got up to put the kettle on. “You want some tea, of course.” 

“Yorkshire,” Louis said, and flipped on the TV. He saw a bit about them on a gossip show, and changed the channel. He was living it, he didn’t need to see it. 

… 

For a while, things continued as what now passed for normal in Louis’s life. He roomed with Harry but kept Liam in his bed and his heart, and he worked harder than he ever had on the record they were making. He hardly got any solos to speak of, but he didn’t really care. Liam’s voice was well-represented, and that made him happy. He guessed that maybe he was finally learning to put other people first. 

After recording one night, Louis was in his room, playing games on his phone. He felt Liam sit next to him, and immediately leaned in. “Hey,” Liam said, his voice quiet in the way it got when he was upset about something. Louis exited the game. 

“Hey yourself,” he said back, pulling Liam in. “Are you okay?” 

“I guess,” Liam said. “I’m tired. I was out with Danielle, and we got mobbed by the press and by some fans. They know everywhere we are. It’s thrilling, sometimes, but right now I just want to hide. I hate when I get on Twitter and people are making fun of how I look.” 

“Well, if they’re making fun of your looks, they’re daft,” Louis said lightly. Mentally he was thinking about finding these bastards and letting them have it in a way that couldn’t be traced back to him. 

“I know you think that,” Liam says. “And I’m glad. But people are either reducing me to my looks or saying I don’t have any at all. It’s one thing that me and Danielle can talk about. She gets it too just for being a girl.” 

“I’m glad you and Danielle can talk about things,” Louis said. He never really enjoyed his for-the-press dates at all. “I just wish it wasn’t about something awful.” Louis rubbed down Liam’s back. “I’m sorry. I don’t look at the negative stuff at all. Maybe you could try that.” 

“But what if they’re right?” Liam said, wiping at his eyes. “I always read the mean stuff, because what if there is something I’m not working on?” 

“A few of them might be right,” Louis said, counting to ten in his head. “But it’s unlikely that they’ve found something that you haven’t already considered. You consider everything, and I thought you knew that.” He reached for Liam’s knee and squeezed it. “You hold yourself to such high standards, love.” 

“So do you,” Liam said, and Louis didn’t bother to deny it. Just the other day he’d thrown a fit in the studio because he had trouble with his part. He knew how much his shortcomings could bother him. “Maybe we both need to learn how to chill out.” 

“We could join Harry for yoga sometime,” Louis said, and that made Liam laugh. Louis watched his beautiful face crinkle up in happiness, and he laughed too, glad that had broken the ice. “I’m sorry,” Louis said, holding Liam’s hand. “I wish I could help. But I’m just in this with you.” 

“That means a lot,” Liam said, turning to face Louis. “When I don’t spend the night with you, and it’s just me up in my room, I worry myself a lot, where I can barely sleep. But when I’m with you, I don’t.” Louis squeezed his hand. 

“I love you, sweet boy,” he said. “And you don’t have to worry. You’re one of the most competent people I’ve ever met. Everything’s going to go well, I know it.” 

“I hope so,” Liam said. “I don’t know what I’d do know if I had to go back home. I’m not ready for that.” Liam was sending money back home, when he got it. Louis tried to keep a tally in his head of how much money they actually got to keep, but Liam probably kept his on his phone. Clever boy, Louis had there. 

“You won’t be going back,” Louis said. “If this implodes, you’ll find something else fast. You’re already famous, and the fans love you. Me, I don’t know.” Louis knew he was well-loved by his band, but outside of that he got a lot of shit from fans and the public in general. 

“You’ll be brilliant,” Liam said, nudging him a little. “Anyway, it’s not like we’d be going it alone. We’ve got each other now. I just hope I’m what you need.” 

“I think you are,” Louis said. “I mean, you found out about my sugar baby career and didn’t blink. I don’t think I can shock you. And you’re kind, Liam. You’re so kind.” Liam smiled then, crooked and unsure, and Louis came in for a kiss. “Remember that,” Louis said when he pulled back. “When you’re feeling unsure. You turned me from someone whose head you wanted to knock off to a boyfriend. That wasn’t easy.” 

“You had something to do with it too you know,” Liam said, and he kissed Louis back. “I know I should worry less, but I’m just so used to always going.” 

“Well, we’ll have plenty of that soon when this record is done.” Louis ran his hands through Liam’s hair. “We’ll see if we can handle it.” 

“The two of us? I think so.” Liam nuzzled him, and Louis rolled his eyes at how sentimental it was. But he didn’t tell Liam to stop. 


End file.
